Newbie Does Denver

Can I...can I really believe again? Two whole quarters of great football and the Broncos looked competent, even dominated the team that was supposed to blow them out of the water. 23-point lead at halftime? Maybe they CAN do this! ...then I remembered the way they've been playing in the second half. And they played the exact same way. And blew a 23-point lead. And lost. It was like the teams that left the field at the half switched places and reemerged in the others' uniforms. I don't know what bodysnatching, midwestern hocus pocus Minnesota summoned, but it worked, and in both directions. Dammit.

I've been through this game twice — once streaming on the radio and watching on GamePass. I'm glad I could't watch it first, for one because the announcers on the TV broadcast sound like they're calling a Browns home game (over and over how important this game is for Cleveland, not one mention that it might be important for Denver, and they paid so little attention they even called Flacco handing off to P.L., etc.). It was also on CBS, and I'm trying not to watch any sports on CBS, as Chick-Fil-A is one of their sponsors, and I'm trying to #BoycottChickFilA — they actively donate money to causes that inflict human suffering, and I won't participate in it. But wow — WHAT a difference having a quarterback who can actually run around! Noah Fant! Sutton! Lindsay! Derek Wolfe! That secondary! This is the foundation for a kick-ass team. Are we there yet? No, but...

Yes, seriously. I saw heard that first 3-and-out and was seething the rest of the game. "Same ol' shit," I thought. All through their lead, which was pretty much the whole game to the final 30 seconds, I was pissed. I was pissed because I knew the way they were playing was not the way you win football games, unless the other team is so bad they can't overcome the ineptitude due to their own. Or maybe it's because of the standards set for Broncos fans. Either way, I was irritated, frustrated, and cursing to myself for 3+ hours. From the sound of things, the Broncos themselves mirror those feelings.

It's the O-line! And the quarterback! And the holding penalties! And the dropped balls! And the 3-and-outs! And the lack of run defense! And WTF playcalls! And...my brain would explode but it's not going to put in more effort than the Broncos did this week. The Broncos do not fare well against the Chiefs, especially not in the Mahomes era, but there could not have been more favorable conditions for an emerging Denver team finding it legs to prove that they're for real. Apparently, they're not.

Yowza! Kareem Jackson! Chris Harris Jr.! Derek Wolfe! AJ Johnson! That was some sexy defense on display, boys. The offense? Eerrrrrrrrrr...not so much.

Well, " look " might be an exaggeration, as I was again live-streaming the radio broadcast, but those dudes are very technically descriptive. I had no idea what they were saying half the time — I don't know where or how dudes line up, or what different combinations of players mean, or what nickle corner dime half-caff fullback machiato is playing what, but I need to learn it so I need to hear it. But I can guess.

The world of suck has spread to encompass yet more real estate in the hearts of Broncos fans. They got the winning touchdown! Yes ! The defense can do this! Until they can't! GAH! I'm normally the cynic—yeah, it was a great first half, but they'll screw it up. Today I was a true believer, which proves yet again what faith  is—pretending to know what you don't know—and what it isn't—enough. I couldn't watch the game, but I listened to the KOA livestream and watched the ESPN gamecast. When the Bears/Vikings game was over, however, the last 2-or-so minutes of the Denver game popped on. "You have to get this TD. You have to get this TD," I repeated to myself. AND THEY DID! Then I saw the clock: 1:34 (or so) left in the game. " Shit ," I said. "They're fucked." This is a lesson I learned watching Tom Brady—you can't score that winning touchdown and give the other side time enough to take a massive dump on all your dr...

I used to give zero shits about football. I mean, I grew up playing sports, from baseball and basketball to tennis and Tae kwon do, but no one ever taught me football. My high school didn't have a football team. I heard it in the background sometimes, at my dad's house or on Thanksgiving, but again--no one ever explained it to me, so all I had were the stereotypes and an outsider's glance at what seemed to be mindless titans demonstrating elementary physics with their bodies down a field while a bunch of lunatics in the stands screeched and roared and screamed in bad drag. Well, this is my mea culpa . I was wrong. Football does indeed offer good physics lessons and there are lunatics and the drag is terrible, but football is freaking awesome. How can you NOT know about football?  some people ask. I assumed my dad taught me nothing because it was a sport I couldn't play, which was true as a girl growing up in the 80s (and still true most places). When I asked him...

I don't know a whole lot about football, perhaps as much as can be expected for someone watching her 2nd full season—ever—which I'll write about later—but come on. Isn't this obvious? Yes, the offense hasn't clicked yet, and some plays have been WTFable. Yes, Joe Flacco is not amazing, but I don't have the context to despise or doubt him like so many others. Yes, the defensive drought is a complete freaking mystery, but I don't know enough about formations and the intricacies of defensive strategies to know why. Yes, as #10 so eloquently stated, to be a Broncos fan right now is being in a world of suck. But, seriously—the O-line is the main source of trouble for this team. Has been. Still is. THAT much I do know. I know that if you have a classic pocket passer like Flacco, you have to have  an offensive line to protect him while he allows routes to play out so he can find the best targets. No, he isn't a Hopkins or Jackson or Murray or Rodgers, n...